Moustachio Strikes Again (Unsuccessfully)!

Ever the ignoble cad, the love-starved DJ Moustachio prowled around the upstairs of Mo Pitkins this past weekend and went so far as to make a pass at his own sister-in-law! She promptly rebuffed him with a hearty, endearing smile. Those at the table wondered aloud, over their manchego fries, their reuben sandwiches, and their numerous cans of Modelo, as to how she summoned the fortitude to resist him, especially with that manly tuft of chest hair peeking out of his brand new Hanes V-neck T-shirt. Some phenomena simply cannot be explained.