In The Mood For A Nice Rug Down

Back in November, it was time for the rug in the 51 Faxon Street den to come up. Why would a nice wine-red rug that had only been put down a few years ago need to be thrown out so soon? Rollie, the "free-pissing, I can go to the bathroom anywhere I like at anytime" beagle. That red rug could only withstand so many golden showers and steamy dog poos until it was time to have mercy on its carpet soul and put it out of its misery.

Nick, Emily, and I were all in Braintree for the weekend, and getting rid of the old rug and putting down a new rug was one of the projects my Mom had in store for us (another was to clean the cellar, but that's a whole other column in and of itself, folks). Taking a rug up and replacing it with a new one doesn't sound like a monumental task, but when you have a den crammed with so much furniture and...things, it's a lot harder than it looks.

Mom and Dad were home at the time we did this. No, they didn't actually help with anything, but they did a fabulous job of standing at the doorway and barking out (usually conflicting) directions. Menial household chore supervision- catch the fever!

The old area rug was underneath every large item in the room- sofa, giant TV and TV stand, recliner, chair, end table, coffee table, numerous stacks of unread books, etc. We took it up corner by corner, revealing a wooden floor unerneath that in certain parts looked like it was rotting from canine urine overexposure. It was nasty. Within moments, everyone was yelling at Rollie, telling him what a bad dog he was- I'm sure he was ridden with longterm guilt over all this. Was that regret expressed when he licked my hand, or did he just smell traces of roast beef?

By shifting everything around, the contaminated rug (was I really doing pushups on that thing yesterday?!) was eventually pulled up, rolled up, and promptly thrown out, its glory years clearly in the past.

At this point, we all questioned my Mom as to why we had to put another rug down. Some of us liked the look of a wooden floor, while others thought it was imprudent to lay down yet another rug for Rollie to ruin. And best of all, this rug was white! Yup, no problem keeping that one looking clean and new. I suppose the only plus side to the light shade was that there'd be no guessing to where Rollie had last taken a leak.

Mom had gotten a padding to go underneath the new rug this time. That was laid out without a fuss, but it was clearly too big. Once the rug was down, there's be some cutting required to trim it down to size.

Nick and I carried the new rug, still rolled up and taped, into the den from the dining room/ new carpet storage facility. While we started unrolling it, the real problems began. We didn't have a lot of room to work with, and with al the furniture the rug had to go under, we couldn't unroll it all at once. On cue, everyone started voicing their opinion on how best to get this carpet down with the least amount of fuss. Was it a shock that all 5 opinions varied dramatically? At this point, it shouldn't have been.

Eventually, a winning technique was discovered and successfully employed, and the fresh white area rug was soon in its proper place. Our faces were red and our breath was cut short while our faces glowed with perspiration, half from the physical work and the other half from stress.

But wait! The cushion mat underneath the carpet still had to be cut down to size! We had to hurry- the Patriots game was imminent and kickoff would soon be upon us.



We tried using an actual carpet cutter, but the blade seemed a bit too dull. I grabbed some plain old scissors and they seemed to get the job done, albeit very slowly with a strenuous hand tendon workout.



By the time the job was done. We were pooped.



Yet unlike our dog, Rollie, we refrained from actually pooping on the new rug.