Life of a Millionaire

Ladies and Gentlemen, I, Geoffrey Matthew Stevens, am a millionaire. No, I didn’t win nor the lottery, nor did my stock in IAMADork.com go through the roof. I am a millionaire simply by living in Turkey and using their Turkish Lira currency. Currently, one US dollar is worth about 1.4 Million Turkish Lira. Exchanging the other way, 1 Million Turkish Lira gives you 71 cents. So actually, if I got paid my $1000 monthly salary today, I’d actually be a BILLIONAIRE! Watch out Nelson Rockefeller, there’s a new Mr. Money Bags in town. Except, well, I’m not actually in town- I’m in Turkey.

Unfortunately, my days as a millionaire will soon be numbered. Turkey is introducing a new currency January 1st, splendidly called the NEW Turkish Lira (Get it? New?). With this switch, all they’re doing is lopping off 6 zeros off everything, so 1 million lira will now be 1 lira and so forth. It’s a fairly simple transition, but still, I hope it doesn’t affect the cost of living here. I can get the best tasting tangerines on a nearby street corner for 750,000 lira/ kilogram (that’s ~2.2 lbs for you non-metrics). That roughly comes out to about 20 cents a pound. Now these are prices I can live with, people. I can also get a tasty doner (meat) sandwich for about 1.5 million lira, which comes out to a little over a dollar. What would you rather have, a slow roasted meat sandwich with all the fixings, or a value-menu double cheeseburger from McDonalds?


Actually, there’s a McDonalds at the mall across from my apartment, and it’s fairly expensive compared to other eateries around here. While Cyprus had the Greek Mac, Turkey has something aptly called the McTurk. I haven’t sampled it yet, but you’ll all be the first to hear my review when I do. Along with McDonalds (they even have the “I’m loving it” slogan translated to Turkish on their posters) Turkey has Burger King, KFC, and Pizza Hut, which, like in Cyprus, mind-bogglingly remains to be a cool, hip place to eat. Go figure.


I haven’t helped but notice that a lot of things and activities that were once cool in America but have now become passé, like bowling, are still very trendy here. There’s a giant bowling alley in that same mall across the street from me, and you don’t go in there and see senior citizen bowling leagues and some 40-year old guys with thick moustaches. You see young, good-looking people having a fun night out on a Saturday. We may be 10-15 years behind the times here in some respects, but I treasure a place where I can go bowling, enjoy it, and still be cool in a non-ironic way.